Barbara Ann Repan

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The Life of “Bud”

February 23, 2015 by Barbara

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December 18, 1930 – February 8, 2015.

He was a wonderful father to all 5 of his children. He wasn’t perfect but he was perfect for me. He taught me so much, even up to his dying day, about life, attitude, love and so much more.

Through the years, he always supported me in anything I did, he encouraged me continually and he seemed to understand some of the struggles I had. One example was a letter he wrote me when my husband and I were experiencing infertility. My Dad did not experience this struggle but in his letter to help me he wrote words of comfort, just as if he experienced it himself. How could he know what I was going through?

A father’s love is deep.

After my Mom passed away in 2007, my Dad and I became closer in our relationship, even living 2000 miles apart. Our telephone chats were the best, filled with laughter. I got to know my Dad more as a person during these chats. I called him every Sunday usually. It became our “date”, at 4 o’clock. If I were late in calling, he would sometimes call me to see if everything was ok.

 

In November, my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. Our phone chats became more frequent and more spiritual. I treasure those moments!

I hated to hear my big, strong, tough Dad tell me he was always in pain. I know he didn’t tell me a lot about what he was going through, his way of protecting me, as always. But I knew.

I admired his strength, his attitude and his courage. He always had the best attitude about life. “One day at a time” was his motto. He trusted in the Lord for this cancer journey, saying, “The Good Lord will take care of me.”

I had moments during his sickness that my heart broke. I wanted to be with him but he said wait till after the holidays. I prayed for him continually and learned I had to trust God in all this. He’d tell me he did not want anyone to feel sorry for him or cry all the time over this but I told him too bad, I feel bad and I will cry.

 

I love him so much.

 

He told me in January he was going to be seeing my mom soon. He knew his life was ending. I think he was trying to prepare me.

I had amazing Peace during these 3 months. Even in the crying episodes, so much peace. I think crying is part of the healing, a release.

 

I arrived Feb 1. Dad has lost weight. He’s aged. He doesn’t have much appetite. But he is still making others laugh, still saying, “One day at a time”, still trusting in the Lord.

 

Find your way to Heaven

Where someday we’ll be together

Forever in His presence

Surrounded by Love

Find your way to Heaven

Where there are no tears, sickness, evil or pain.

 

Death is part of life. Death is not final if we know Jesus

 

 

I was looking at photos of my handsome Dad and my pretty Mom. So many memories. Good memories as kids. Picnics. Family Reunions. Vacations at the beach. Tears are dripping from my eyes as I grieve this loss of fun times with family. But also happy tears for the good life I’ve been blessed with.

How much longer? He is hurting but doesn’t complain. How long should I stay in Ohio? One Day at a Time. I prayed continually for God to order my steps, when to go home to Phoenix. I trusted Him with my Dad, his care, and his peace of mind, strength, and contentment.

 

God is faithful. Always.

 

When I saw my Dad on Sunday I told him again I loved him and that he was the best Dad there is. I reassured him we were ok. He barely responded but I know he heard me. I held his hands, praying Lord, have mercy for my Daddy.

 

God in His mercy and love was present with us in an amazing way, giving my sister and I beautiful peace and comfort. I’m glad she was with me.

 

Sunday evening he died peacefully with my sister and I by his bedside. No more pain. He is healed and free. I rejoice my Dad knew Jesus. I celebrate his life on earth and I will celebrate life eternal with him and my mom one day. I love you Mom and Dad. <3

 

Dad Collage

 

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Filed Under: Gratitude Tagged With: cancer, Faith, God the Father, Heaven, Hope, Love, Mercy, my Dad, peace, trust

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Comments

  1. betsydecruz says

    February 27, 2015 at 11:02 pm

    This is a beautiful tribute to your father, Barbara. May the Lord comfort you and be real to you in your loss. My dad just lost his wife, and through our more frequent phone calls, I can tell we’re going to come closer together. I’m sad for him, but glad for more contact. He came to visit me in Turkey, and I was so blessed.

    • Barbara Ann says

      March 1, 2015 at 8:43 pm

      Thank you Betsy. I am so glad you had your visit with your dad. Cherish every moment. I know you do. <3

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Hi Friend, Welcome to my corner of the online world, where I write to encourage and give hope. I believe everyone could use a dose of hope from time to time so whether you need hope for your marriage, your closet, or anything in between, I hope you find some encouragement here.

Having been through some hard situations, I understand what it's like to live hopeless, depressed, angry, and bitter until God rescued me in His Love and Grace. In Him, I found an Anchor to keep me safe and secure. My passion is to share how He has rescued me and give others encouragement, as He has for me.

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