The day is over. You made it through. The sadness will still linger in the days ahead. Maybe even for weeks. You are not a mother and Mother’s Day is a hard day.
My Dad always said to me “One Day At a Time” and there is a lot of truth in that quote. It’s hard to not look into the future when you want something so strongly. It’s sad thinking of a life without children. No birthday parties. No graduation celebrations. No beautiful bride weddings. No grandbabies.
I lived with this heartache for years and thankful to be on the other side of the pain. I still have moments of tears of what wasn’t to be. I don’t understand why we were not able to have kids. Our medical records state “unexplained infertility” meaning there was no medical reason we were not able to conceive. I was healthy, never had an abortion, always had a regular cycle. John was healthy too.
I wrestled with verses in the Bible that mention anything about being fruitful and multiply. Or that God will give you the desires of your heart. There are days of self-pity, anger with God. Days of avoiding social events and especially baby showers. And it’s okay to be angry, avoid others, and shed tears of heartache. It’s part of the healing to express these emotions. Don’t beat yourself up because you struggle with these feelings. You are not alone. Find others who will support you.
I want you to know there is hope. My story is one of hope. I was a hopeless mess going through infertility but God rescued me and He will rescue you too.
On this, “after Mother’s Day” please know God knows your pain. God sees you. He loves you. He is there for you waiting with open arms. He is our Hope.
My email is Barbara@barbaraannrepan.com if you have a prayer request.
For further encouragement: The Silent Struggle
